I got today's tip from a nursing home resident. Even
though she was old in years, she was young in spirit. She
knew about the absolute necessity of change, growth, and
living outside her comfort zone.
That's not an easy concept to grasp, and it's not an easy
way to live. After all, our entire culture pushes us in
the opposite direction. Listen to people, and you'll hear
lots of comments along the lines of "Be careful ... Take
it easy... and... Don't take any chances."
Unfortunately, just the opposite is true. Security is
not found in an ever-stable, non-changing environment.
That will never happen. Security is not found in the
avoidance of change. That's not possible.
As Anne Morrow Lindbergh said, "Only in growth, reform,
and change, paradoxically enough, is true security to be
found." In other words, security is found in knowing
you must change and knowing how to make those changes.
That's so important because you will be forced to deal
with change. And some of those changes you won't like.
And some of those changes will be imposed.
Do you know how to make the necessary changes in your
work and in your life? I hope so. You won't accomplish
much living inside your comfort zone.
And do you know how to deal with changes you don't
like? Again, I hope so, because a lot of changes
that come your way will be imposed on you from the
outside world. Those imposed changes will include
some things you: 1) couldn't predict,2) didn't cause,
3) don't want, and4) can't avoid.
So how do you make change more positive and productive?
Start with an attitude adjustment. ACCEPT THE FACT
THAT CHANGE WON'T EVER GO AWAY. If you're still
carrying the old mindset, thinking "If I can just hang
on a few more weeks and get through this, I can get
back to normal," you're in trouble. You've got to
accept the fact that change is the norm. It won't
ever go away, and it won't ever be over.
This is especially true if you're an executive,
manager, or supervisor. If you try to relieve your
coworkers' stress by saying there will be a calm
after the reorganization, or after the merger, or
after the new product is launched, or after whatever,
your coworkers' trust will take a real nosedive the
next time you announce another change. So be honest
with your people. Tell them they're never going
to be done with change.
Accepting that fact can be a little scary. As one
college commencement speaker asked the President of
the college, "How can I tell the students the future
of the world is in their hands without frightening
the rest of the guests?"
And accepting that fact can be rather illuminating.
As one of my audience members told me, "You know the
children have grown up when you find yourself straightening
up the house before they come home instead of after."
You've got to accept the fact that change won't go
away, and that's okay. Charles Kettering, the head of
research at General Motors way back in 1949 said, "We
should all be concerned about the future because we
will have to spend the rest of our lives there."
Second, MAKE SURE EVERY CHANGE MAKES YOU BETTER,
NOT BITTER. Whenever you go through a change, you
will change. That's not debatable. How you change
is up to you.
Some people go through a divorce, a job loss, a
financial difficulty, and they get bitter. They
cry out, "Life's not fair. God doesn't care. Why
me?"
They fail to see anything good in the change. They
don't realize, as Alexander Graham Bell, the inventor
of the telephone, said so long ago, that "When one
door closes, another opens." The trouble is, Bell
went on to say, "We often look so long and so
regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see
the one which has opened for us."
By contrast, other people can go through the same
things, a divorce, a job loss, a financial difficulty,
and they get better. Two weeks or two months after the
crisis, they're back on their feet using guts and skills
they never knew they had.
Those who get better don't waste their time looking
at the closed door, bemoaning what has gone by the
wayside. Instead, they take Louis L'Amour's approach.
L'Amour, the author of many western novels said:
"There will come a time when you believe everything is
finished. That will be the beginning."
Third, FIND THE HUMOR IN EVERY CHANGE. There's always
something funny or at least a bit amusing in every
change. Finding it will take away some of your stress.
For example, look at the humor in our changing life-
styles. Years ago, man got tired of living outdoors
and cooking over an open fire. So he moved indoors,
where he eventually convinced himself that the food
would taste better cooked outdoors over an open fire.
Or look at the humor in our changing jobs. In 1979
there were 32 Elvis impersonators. In 1996 there were
48,000.Talk about a growth industry. Based on that
rate of growth, by the year 2010, one of every two
people on earth will be an Elvis impersonator.
And look at the humor in our changing priorities. We
just get everything figured out, and then we find that
our wants, desires, and needs change. It's like the old
man who picked up a frog that said, "If you kiss me,
I'll turn into a beautiful princess." The man put the
frog in his pocket without kissing it, and the frog
said, "Wait, why haven't you kissed me yet?" The man
responded, "At this point in my life, I prefer to have
a talking frog."
And look at the humor to be found in the pronouncements
of arrogant, self-appointed prophets who think they know
it all. Voltaire, one of France's greatest intellectuals,
said in a 100 years the Bible would be a forgotten book,
to be found only in museums. When the 100 years were up,
Voltaire's home was occupied by the Geneva Bible Society.
The truth is, no one is immune from making mistakes. So
lighten up and see the humor in change.
Finally, REMIND YOURSELF CHANGE MANAGEMENT CAN BE GOOD. It's easy
to think you like things just the way they are, that you
don't want any change, and you don't need any change.
Seeing you're going to go through a bunch of changes,
whether you like it or not, wouldn't it make more
sense to remind yourself that change can be good?
Remind yourself that every improvement is a result of
change. If you think along those lines, you'll have
a lot more flow and a lot less resistance in your life.
Change can be good. An old proverb says a wise man
changes his mind, a fool never. How true. You'll never
know everything; so you'll have to keep changing your
mind if you want keep on making improvements.
And change can be fun. It's like the American fellow
who visited a London pub on a foggy night. Hoping to
strike up a conversation with a distinguished looking
Englishman, he asked, "May I buy you a drink?" No,"
said the Englishman." Don't drink. Tried it
once and didn't like it."
Later the American fellow tried to make conversation
again and said, "Would you like a cigar?" The
Englishman said, "No. Don't smoke. Tried it once, and
I didn't like it."
The American thought for a moment. Then said, "Would
you like to join me in a game of gin rummy?" The
Englishman replied, "No. Don't like card games. Tried
it once, and I don't like it. However, my son will be
dropping in after a bit. Perhaps he will join you."
The American settled back in his chair and said, "Your
only son I presume?"
Action on Change Management:
Select three changes you've gone through personally
or professionally in the last several months. Then
using today's Tuesday Tip, find one thing good and
one thing funny in each of those changes.
